Caution! Slippery when Appropriate
by WalkingCatastrophe
Summary: Also known as "Who Would Have Known Cupid's Biggest Weapon Would Be A Wet Floor, After All" One-Shot, PruCan, FrUk and Spamano.


**A/N: So this is for Shiralala, for being the 100th reviewer in my story, "Shut Up And Take My Hand" (which, if you haven't read it, you definitely should). And, now that I think of it, I should update that story... but this caught me and wouldn't let me go.**

**Is it weird that I had too much fun while writing this? I hope you do too while reading it!**

**Enjoy!**

**Caution! Slippery When Appropriate**

It had taken him hours, but there was not even a single speck of dust in the whole building. The chairs and tables had gotten their original color back, and the floor was so polished one could see oneself reflected in it. The whole building almost looked brand new.

The janitor smiled.

_It's a pity those guys from the United Nations are almost here… _

He walked a few steps, admiring his work, then took his things and headed to the closet.

His eyes went briefly to the note duct-taped to the door of the broom's closet, and he snarled at the 'Please do not engage in any kind of sexual activities here' written in black computer-printed letters.

_Not that these horny bastards are going to pay much attention to it… At least, they didn't last time._

So, after looking around and making sure no one was there, he took a pen out of his pocket and quickly added:

_"We have your DNA in the trash. We can track you!"_

Laughing at his own joke, he put the cleaning trolley away and took out the 'Caution! Wet floor!' sign.

_Hmm… this is weird… I remember there being a lot more than just this… In fact, I think this is the last one… Guess I'll have to make a complaint again…_

Without giving it much thought, he put the sign in the middle of the hallway and went out of the building, his shift now finished.

However, by the time most of the nations arrived, it was nowhere to be found.

* * *

Arthur was the first to fall (both literally and metaphorically).

'_Hey, have you seen the closet's note? They have updated it! Come on, let's make a bet, whose fault has it been?' _Francis texted.

'_No way! It wasn't me this time, I swear it!' _Antonio texted back.

And, had Francis not been so busy with his mobile phone, he would have probably made fun of the angry Englishman that was now coming towards him, frowning and searching frantically through his folder.

When he did raise his eyes, however, it was to see Arthur coming right towards a big area of still wet floor.

_And he hasn't even noticed… this is going to be fun._

_Where is that bloody file? _Arthur thought, and being so distracted with paperwork, he didn't notice the wet patch on the floor, much less the Frenchman directly in his trajectory, smirking at him and pointing to the ground.

So, it came as a surprise that, seconds after losing balance, he had said Frenchman's face mere inches from his, and said body completely pressed against him.

But what wasn't so much of a surprise was the devious smirk that seemed plastered on Francis' face when he first opened his eyes after the shock.

And, if that wasn't enough to piss him off, all the papers were now scattered through the floor, now wet and completely illegible.

"Whoa! I'd rather you kiss me than you kiss the floor, cher" he heard him say, and even if he hadn't been looking at his face, he could have _felt_ the smug smile that came along with that comment.

Still, it took him a whole minute of just staring in awe to fully comprehend what had happened… he just wasn't a morning person.

When he did, however, he blushed furiously and yelled:

"Get off me, you…!"

At that point, Francis just quirked an eyebrow and raised his arms.

"Hey. Look at where my hands are. I'm not even touching you. It's you who is clinging onto me like your life depended on it…"

And the smirk that accompanied that last sentence, along with the realization that it was, in fact, true, did nothing but embarrass the Englishman further… not only not letting go, but hiding his face in his lover's chest.

"Hey, let's ditch the meeting and go…"

"I am not going anywhere near you in the next six months!" he snapped.

And, to make his point clear, he stayed silence for a good few minutes, in hopes that the other would get the message.

"You say that, but you haven't let go yet…"

"I hate you, you know that?" he asked, but the only answer he got was a hand gently ruffling his hair.

"Yeah, sweetie, I love you too"

Then Francis leant forward and whispered something in Arthur's ear, inaudible for any other than him, but whatever it was, it made the Englishman stand abruptly and begin looking frantically for the spare key for the utility closet they once, and after much effort and a tiny bit of blackmail, managed to get their hands on.

Meanwhile, Francis took out his phone and quickly typed something.

"Okay, are we going or what?" Arthur asked, and Francis couldn't help but smirk as he hit 'send'.

_'Don't trust me on this much, Antonio… but I'm pretty sure there will be another update soon… ;)"_

* * *

Lovino was not having a good day. Not that any day was good to begin with, but today had proven to be bad from the beginning, and chances were it could only go worse.

Because, let's face it, waking up to your brother moaning along with the person you hate most is not the best way to start a day. For once, he missed his good ol' alarm clock, as annoying as the beeping could be.

… And, just when he thought after a nice, warm shower things could go _slightly_ better… shazam! Guess where the happy couple was having sex!

To top it off he had a world meeting, and he had to go there without a proper shower (not that he was going anywhere between 10 miles of that bathroom anytime soon), and trying to compensate the sleepiness having a little too many cups of coffee… Only to discover it was _decaffeinato_. Well, shit.

_I hate people._

And… was it him the one who said things could get even worse?

Because yes, they could. And yes, they would.

Because karma hated him just as much as he hated karma.

One second he was walking through the hallways, watching the back of a certain Spaniard (but absolutely not _admiring_ it, just to make things clear), then a bit of a blur after that…

… and the next second he had said back pressed against his face, his arms wrapped around the other's waist, the whole thing halfway between the most fortunate fall ever and the most awkward hug ever.

His sleepy mind took a while to register what had happened, but when he did, he came up with the only escape for it:

_Maybe… if I keep reeeally still, he won't notice. He can only sense movement, right?_

_Or was that the advice to follow with dinosaurs?_

"Lovi!" he heard, and he immediately had the proof that Antonio was not a dinosaur.

Or, if he was, he was a rather clever one. Which meant he was not a dinosaur period.

He did not dare to look at the other in the eyes. Not that it mattered, really, because Antonio kept speaking:

"You know… I love it and I find it really cute when you do this…" _what did I do this time? "…_ but next time you hug me from behind, could you be a little bit gentler? My back kinda hurts, now"

And, because he had the worst reflexes ever, the only reaction his body could come up with was froze and blush furiously.

"I-I-I didn't you idiot! I just… The floor was wet and I slipped!"

Antonio just smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

"Yeah… you said that last time. And the time before that. And the time before…"

Okay… so maaaaybe he miiiight have used it as an excuse to steal a few hugs without losing (all) his dignity.

But this time was true, dammit!

"I swear this time I mean it!" he tried to argue, but to no avail.

"Hey, I have an idea. Turn around" Antonio said, and Lovino did it… not because the other had ordered it, or anything of the sort.

… He just felt like turning around in that exact moment, understood?

And, when he did, he felt a pair of strong arms enveloping him, the warm sweet scent of his not-so-subtle crush all around him, and a head gently resting on his shoulder.

"Now _that's _how you hug someone from behind."

And, as it was natural, Lovino panicked.

But, after making sure no one was around and thus, no one could possibly see them, he thought that hey, pushing away _just a little bit later_ couldn't hurt.

And, perhaps, the day was not so bad as he first thought…

* * *

Matthew Williams walked rapidly though the halls, his steps a bit louder than usual (but still barely audible) and a smile on his lips.

_Today is going to be a special day._

_Today, I will present my economic plans._

_Today, I will make an impression._

_Today, I will be noticed! _

What he failed to notice, however, was the wet patch on the floor and the man in front of him, so he slipped and tackled him, effectively dragging them both to the floor.

Which, in all honesty, was not how he had planned his day to begin.

"Hmm… I'm giving you a 7.5 for the whole performance. The jump in itself was risky, but I loved that _deboule_ mid-air. As to the landing… well, a piece of advice: next time you're artistic skating, try not to tackle your jury, it might make you lose points."

Matthew froze. He could recognize that voice _anywhere. _

Out of all the people he could have crashed into… it had to be _him_. Gilbert Beilschmidt. _The _Gilbert.

The Canadian had been watching the ex-nation from the other end of the meeting table since… since he could remember, really, and he had even started to do a bit of research on his own (which was totally not stalking, mind you). It hadn't been long since he came to terms with it: it was as close to a crush as one could get without even talking with that person.

But that was about to change now, he could tell.

"Sorry!" he said after he had recovered from the shock, and didn't stop apologizing ever since.

Gilbert chuckled, but then realized something:

"Hey! Haven't we met before?"

Matthew held his breath.

_No. Not again. Please don't mistake me for America._

_Not you._

_In my mind we had so much potential..._

"Yeah! I know! You're that Canadian kid! Matthew, right?" he smirked, and the only answer he got was an enthusiastic, albeit a bit confused nod. "Listen, Matt- can I call you Matt? Of course I can!- Listen, as much as I like to have you pressed against me… I usually prefer to be the one on top, you know…"

That's when Matthew looked at their current position. After his… rather unfortunate fall, he had managed to put the ex-nation laying on his back… and he was on top of him, hands on each side of the other's shoulders, faces mere inches apart.

He jumped. He started apologizing profusely, his face a deep shade of red, getting up quickly, hopes on getting out of there as fast as he could.

In fact, he tried to do that so quickly that he tripled over again… although this time Gilbert (who was already up) managed to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Whoa! You are a magnet for disaster, aren't you? I can't trust you with this floor. Let me walk you to the meeting room… I don't want you to fall and hurt yourself."

And he was just about to tell him that _No, thanks, he could manage just fine, _when it clicked.

Was he… was Gilbert _fucking _Beilschmidt _hitting on him?_

That could not be possible… or could it?

But that would make no sense… or would it?

Now, Matthew was usually rather cautious while playing poker, but this time… he decided to go all in.

"Actually, I was looking for the exit. I was planning on going to the cafeteria on the next block…"

And he saw that smirk… _That smirk!_

"I don't trust you with the _floor_… what makes you think I would let you go out to the streets all alone? Nuh-uh, I'm going with you"

And, as they both went out of the building, holding hands ('_I don't want you to get lost either' Gilbert had said) _Matthew thought maybe he hadn't made the best of the first impressions… but it was nothing he couldn't work with.

Today was supposed to be a special day for him, after all.

* * *

Somewhere near, _dangerously near, _a the faint light of a flash was the only thing that came out of the shadows.

"I told you this would work. Best idea _ever. _I have to thank Kiku later for this" she smiled.

Behind her, a tall figure was leaning against the wall, his bored expression obvious.

"I don't even know why I followed you into this…"

Elizabeta raised her eyes from the camera, and smiled:

"Because you love me?" she tried, and she knew he had won when he heard the other sigh.

"Okay, but you're keeping the sign this time. I hardly have any space left in my house, and my boss is starting to get suspicious as to why I seem to have this fixation with wet floor signs"

She just shrugged, and started adjusting the camera now that the hall was empty.

"Yeah, sure. Oh! Alfred and Ivan are coming! Can we hook them up, please? I swear this would be the last! Promise!"

She didn't even wait for the response.

_I should ask Cupid to pay me for this... But the bastard knows I enjoy this too much and would do it for free..._

-_Fin-_


End file.
